Expect the Best

I have a tendency to expect the worst. I'm sure I'm not sure alone in this, right? I guess I'm afraid of being disappointed or disappointing others or living in some type of happy, sunny delusion when the reality is sad and stormy and bleak. 

I definitely expected the worst going into my last improv class of this term (which was last week). As I mentioned in my previous post, I had been feeling like an improv fraud and a sensitive, whiny fraud to boot. I was not looking forward to this last class and my instructor's promise of individual feedback.

Normally, I love individual feedback – possibly because I love talking about myself. But this time I was tired from the Cleveland half, a long day at work, and my lingering bad attitude from the previous week. (It's exhausting maintaining a bad mood. I would avoid it if I were you). 

I expected the worst feedback. I thought my instructor was going to tell me that I fight too much in scenes, that I'm too shy, or that I do the same character all the time. I prepared for my improv soul to be crushed under the chants of "you're not good enough."

Instead, his feedback empowered me and maybe it has even renewed my commitment for improv. I don't want to get into the specifics, but it gave me confidence and that's what I needed. He gave me great advice that, like most things in improv, applies to other parts of life. 

After class, I thought about how I worried and stressed I was about receiving negative feedback and how I was completely wrong. I wasted precious time being nervous and preparing to feel dejected for no reason. And I realize now I have been expecting the worst when I enter a scene. I haven't been leading (because I will probably make a fool of myself) and I don't take chances (because my ideas are stupid). What would happen if I expect the best when I enter a scene? If nothing else, I will probably have more fun and be more relaxed. 

Our showcase is on Sunday and I am going to apply this lesson when on stage (and, you know, every day since "expecting the best" doesn't apply only to improv, duh). I am going to expect the best, expect that everything will work out perfectly, and I will trust my ideas and my ability to lead. 

Wish me luck!