Bad Attitude

I have a bad attitude this week and I don't know when I'll shake it. I've been feeling like I am lousy at improv and after a bad run yesterday, I don't feel too excited about running either. I know this is in my head and you can't give up when you have a bad day, but like most things, it's easier said than done.

This week in improv class I felt that I did a good job. I honestly did. During one exercise where my classmates gave me a character with specific attributes (always looking over her shoulder, wringing her hands, hair in a ballerina bun, etc.), I really held onto these attributes and had a lot of fun with this character. I said her motto was "Dance through the Nerves" and I did pirouettes and pliés whenever I was in a stressful situation, like when I suspected someone was following me. It felt easy and natural. 
But after that I started doubting myself and I shut down. I don't really know why. My heart just wasn't in the rest of the scenes.  I would've been fine to leave class right then because I decided I wasn't good at improv. 

I recognize that this is a problem – I am my harshest critic and I want to quit when I'm not perfect. I need to understand that I'll make mistakes, move forward and focus on my growth.

The following day I planned to do a 10-mile run. It was my last chance for a long run before a race this weekend. And it was a bad run, leaving me discouraged. Granted, it was hot outside (upper 80s), but it was difficult and my feet hurt and in the end I only did 7 miles. During the run I kept thinking, "Why am I doing this? Running isn't fun." Again, bad attitude. 

I don't really have a positive end to this story or some great revelation. Maybe this week is important for me to learn not to give up even when you have a bad day. Push through the bad attitude. Or maybe there is something going in my zodiac chart! I'm going to check!