Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Let’s Have Fun Again


These past few days have been a blur.

I went out of town to see family; had an audition; dealt with disappointment; second-guessed myself; took care of myself; prematurely celebrated the end of a project; and then more family. I'm exhausted and have an even busier week ahead of me (new improv class, book club, and improv practice group), but I feel like I've made it through the busy peak. 

I am spending the rest of the summer getting back on track with my health and mindfulness. Going out of town every weekend is exhausting and I tend to discard my healthy routine. I tend to sleep less, eat more, and my apartment is a disaster.

I mentioned that I had an audition. Without going into detail, I will say that it has left me in a weird place about improv. My confidence is dwindling and I'm questioning if I want to continue at all. After the audition, I seriously considered writing a post entitled "This blog is no longer about improv." I am trying to be optimistic, to take things as they come, and not be competitive (even with myself), but at what point do you cut your losses and acknowledge that something is causing more stress than happiness in your life? But is that giving up?

I really don't know. My plan for the next few weeks at least is to take a step back and try to have fun with improv. No more worrying about what my teachers or classmates or friends think. No more overanalyzing every scene. Additionally, I want to focus on all the things that make me happy: walking my dog, cooking, meditating, exploring new places, and watching really crappy TV (<3 Royal Pains). My life is more than one hobby, right?

Friday, June 13, 2014

Sick and Complaining

I haven't posted this week for a good reason (I think) -- I have been sick. Ugh. No fun. I only took Monday off work, but still needed to rest the following days too.

When I get sick, it's rarely a little head cold and I'm perfect the next day. I might be functioning the next day, but because of my allergies and asthma, all the symptoms seem to linger a bit longer. So even though I'm feeling better right now, I am sort of afraid to go for a run today because my chest is a little tight. But of course I haven't run all week. I would like to run.

I promise to update more later!

Friday, June 6, 2014

Friday Five: This Summer I Will _______

OK I'm going try out this Friday Five linky page fun times that Eat Pray Run DC is hosting.

Here we go. This summer I will:

1. Become an aunt. My sister is pregnant with her baby and is due at the end of July. I haven't been around babies much so this will all be very new. Exciting!

2. Say goodbye to my 20s. It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. I'm turning 30 this August. I'm surprisingly looking forward to this milestone. I'll have an excuse to stay in more and knit, right?? Isn't that how it goes...?

3. Train for my first marathon. If all goes as planned, I will run a marathon in the fall, which means training starts soon. I haven't figured out the logistics yet or which race even, but I am committed at making this happen.

4. Eating farm share meals. My boyfriend and I got a farm share for the second time this summer. We got rhubarb in our first share so it's already off to a good start.

5. Move in with my boyfriend. Soon we will be sharing more than a CSA box. I'm looking forward seeing his face every day and also taking advantage of his foot rubs.

Have a great weekend!

Showcase Summary: Be Nicer to Yourself

Well, it's over! My class had our showcase on Sunday and it went very well. We just had a lot of fun, got plenty of laughs, and even used some inside jokes.

Some thoughts on the show:

  • I felt the best when I initiated a scene. I only initiated one. I used something said in a monologue in a unique way and it created a fun scene with characters, a setting, and game.
  • In that scene I also walked through a "table" - that I created myself. I mimed putting a book on a table and later walked right through it. Doh. No excuse for that. I certainly need to work on that.
  • The lesson from class I applied the most was high status vs. low status characters. I played a boss, an employee, and a creepy onlooker and tried to keep mind how those characters would act based on status. I'm not saying I applied it well – I'm just saying it was on my mind.
  • I was hesitant to invite my friends to the show and as I was walking to the theater, I knew it was a mistake. I usually invite many friends and coworkers and knowing that members of the audience are on my side gives me more confidence. Lesson learned!

Truthfully, I've been beating myself up about the show a little bit. I tend to overanalyze every moment after a showcase and this was the worst overanalyzing spree for me. I just want very much to be good at improv, but I won't get better if I doubt myself. I was reading Will Hines' awesome blog today, Improv Nonsense, and his response to this question resonated with me:

"It's that you're judging yourself so harshly, that's what's killing you. You want to be able to know exactly how well you're doing, and there's no way to know, and so you're condemning yourself just for the certainty of the condemnation. Listen to your coach/teacher, even the audience, instead of your worries. You don't know if you're yessing/not anding. If it were that simple you'd do it. You're doubting and fearing. It's very common to do this. You've got to be nicer to yourself, give yourself the benefit of the doubt and assume that someone will tell you when you're off and that you are good enough that you will notice when someone is telling you. It's all gonna be okay!"

Such good advice and certainly relevant for me! I gotta give myself some slack and "let it go" as the ever wise Queen Elsa would say.

So a good show all in all, but next time I will be kinder to myself, especially afterward.